Smoking

While smoking some time I pretend to do thinking and be serious but in actual it s alla acting being measurable.

How much helpless we are

Now when I think back what I wanted from my life when I was growing don't know that past person if me will be satisfied or not by these thought of mine or not but now I think so.
JOB: Initially I want to go in army ,i think because of excessive patriotism I was exposed In my school days but after getting job in a private healthcare company and by seeing the practical life and I think some exposure my mind turned to some settle kind of govt job with handsome salary.I got selected in SSC and got the job. Now a days I am not content with whatever I am doing but of course job is giving me financial security and freedom to live on my own upto some extent and for discontent part I am in search of something.
Wife: I don't have courage that time to propose a girl or to make friendship with a girl where I can hangout with someone. I always remember my school girl. I really had crush on her that feeling is so strong now but at that time , it was not that much powerful or beautiful but anyway for career and lake of exposure ,lake of. Financial security, I suppressed all those emotions.
When I got the job I want to marry a girl who can take care my family and me , basically a ideal wife. What else could I expect from my partner except be a better part of me.
I got married and the girl was totally opposite having affair with some other,shrewd and taken my all mental peace.

That's the reality of life it is so unjust if you are taking it as a moral taken from movie or society or I can say this world is very harsh you have to let go every thing as you can't control anything and pleasure is there in letting go.